We are in a season.
A season of bittersweet thoughts and actions.
One of our children is making hard, good choices. We hold out a candle of hope that this choice will be one that turns that corner we’ve been looking for. But the season is a hard one to choose – it involves suffering and possibly some pain and hopefully growth.
The season of renovation and reclamation has not ended. I wasn’t sure whether to decorate for the Christmas season or not. Would I just have to shuffle it all as I have been doing with every room as we move through the phases of work? Would it get covered with drywall dust and debris?
I got the nod yesterday that decorating would be safe, so we did. Hanging the nativity quilt right over the badly mudded seams in the living wall. My husband seeing the beauty in the mess. Jesus comes right in, whether we’re perfectly painted and prepared or not. He comes to our imperfect lives and makes them better simply by being present. My sweet girl dancing around and hanging things up and ‘making a display’ just like her mama does, her upturned face waiting for my approval. Thumbs up girl! Jesus is the gift and miniature trees NEED over-sized Christmas balls and the more Nativity pieces the better.
I need to keep reminding myself that the season of hard and harder that we’ve been living for the last few years will come to and end at some point. We may get a reprieve and then we’ll go through another.
Sometimes we cry and drip snot around and wonder when the hard will end, and why do we have to suffer so. My sweet friend who is dealing with a brain tumour and cancer and four babies at home and not being able to function said to me, “Why not me? I am loved. I have Jesus. I have an amazing husband.” She didn’t feel like Wonder Woman or Supergirl, but she knew that the resources that God has grown in her heart would carry her no matter the outcome of this season. It’s been over a year now since her diagnosis and she’s been through much and she still shines. Her season isn’t over yet, and she is showing us all how to endure with style and faith.
So why not me? I get to endure the hard things that I have in front of me not just for me, but for you to watch and see how I do. I hope you’re cheering and not judging, but it doesn’t really matter.
For this season I will be glad that I have a house around me, my furnace works this year and most likely won’t try to kill me. The husband is working hard on those renos and he’s learning better ways of working and hey, he’s present – I like that!
That’s all for now.