God has an ironic sense of humour. Perhaps you knew that already.
I had this post in my head about a week ago. It was supposed to be about all my brave friends who are battling life-altering things, but He thought it might be better for me to live it out on a small scale.
I have spent the last week mostly horizontal with a wicked sinus cold. I am not actually over it yet but vertical isn’t so bad today. This nasty cold bug wiped out a crazy amount of wonderful plans.
- I was supposed to go to work on Friday, that didn’t happen.
- I was going to go for breakfast with my 15 year old daughter, we ate toast.
- I was going to watch my son’s volleyball tournament, I watched a lot of Netflix instead.
- I was going to take my younger kiddos to the free movie at the Cineplex, once again with the Netflix, but we did do some of that together.
- I was going to go to the quilt show with my friend, I got to see some pictures on Facebook.
- I was going to go to the camp fundraiser with my husband and friends…yup, Netflix.
- I was going to go to church and then we were going to go help some friends move. Heavy sigh.
- I did create a tower of tissues that our dog kept trying to eat. I think we exhausted all the easy comfort food fixes that were in the nearby area.
My house is a disaster, school type learning did not happen and the whole weekend, which was supposed to be fun and full of relationship building type activity did not happen. No one really wanted to come near me and I can’t say I blame them. I was a snotty, cranky, hot/cold, hacking mess.
But I chose to be thankful that it was just a sinus cold, not a brain tumour. Just a cold, and not lung cancer. Yes my plans got messed up but I know that I can regroup after a couple of days and things will get back to normal.
My body betrayed me. It totally ruined my plans.
I have had many friends in the last two years battling with severe body betrayal. Do you know that not one of them has given up Hope. I know there have been dark days and each one has a different story to tell. Some of them went home to glory, some are healed, some are in remission, some are fighting with everything they have and it is hard to watch the struggle knowing there is little that we can do.
But we keep holding on to Hope, even when these frail shells betray us, we row out into the deep anyway. One of my sweet sisters has allowed her difficulty to draw her into a beautiful place of intimacy and grace that she didn’t know before. Her husband has gone there with her and it is a testimony of love and peace and God’s mighty power. She didn’t know that intimacy before and wonders if she would have if she hadn’t had to struggle like she is.
My body parked me on the couch and I got to just rest. My kids made me tea and took turns snuggling with their snotty mama. We watched shows that spoke about redemption and good choices that lead you to happy endings.
My body took me out of a busy schedule and side-lined me.
And in the end, I wasn’t disappointed.
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned;struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
13 It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.”[b] Since we have that same spirit of[c] faith, we also believe and therefore speak, 14 because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. 15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:7-18