So what happens inside when YOU cause the disappointment.
You miss the appointment.
Forget the birthday.
Burn the dinner.
Pay the bill late.
Overdraft the account.
Don’t lose the weight. (or gain it back)
Procrastinate the project until you have to rush and don’t do as good of a job.
For many of us, we have a deep desire to make people happy. We want to do our best and we want to be liked. There are good things about that and some not so good things about that.
But what about when you disappoint yourself?
When there really isn’t anyone else to blame, it really is your fault and there is no getting around it…
Shame tends to creep in, doesn’t it?
Shame tells us not that we did something wrong, which may be true, it tells us that there is something wrong with US. I am the something wrong. Shame isn’t very nice.
So what do we do?
We go to the place of grace. It is absolutely necessary for a quiet mind and a restful spirit to know our identity. If our identity gets attacked and we don’t know who we are it is a garden party invitation for shame to come on over!
We can get our identity wrapped up in all kinds of things that aren’t true, then if that thing gets taken away…so does our identity.
I didn’t realize how much identity I had wrapped up in being a pastor’s wife until I wasn’t. I had dreams and desires wrapped up in that piece.
I had to go through a grieving process to let that go. I had to take my hands off that and realize that I had misplaced my desire once again.
My desire belongs in Christ. Who I am belongs with Christ.
I can’t make me anything. I am only what Christ makes me.
He says that I am loved.
So why do I let shame come and rob me of that? Why is it so hard to forgive myself for my mistakes? Why am I so mean to myself and talk so harshly to myself?
It is hard to give ourselves grace and erase the shame that stands at the door waiting to dive in.
We must tell ourselves the truth when we are tempted to slam ourselves against the wall for whatever it is that we messed up on.
We are Bountifully Loved, Extravagantly Saved, Supplied, Empowered and Delivered. I know I said that already, but it’s the truth and I need to claim it over and over again.
*For more on shame click over to my friend Carol’s blog at www.songofjoy.ca
**This is part of a 31 day series, to find the beginning click on The Disappointment and Desire tab and you will find all the posts in the series listed there.