Yesterday we talked a little about shame and disappointment coming from a mistake or poor decision that we’ve made. How about when that poor decision is disobedience towards God? What do we do when we feel like God is disappointed with us?
This is a hard one isn’t it? We like to think about God being love and kind and forgiveness…and He is all those things. But I’m going to venture out on a limb and suggest that perhaps we can cause disappoinment in the heart of our Father.
If you disagree take a look at the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. There seems to be almost a desperation that there be some good found there in His conversation with Abraham. Abe wheedles God down to just a handful of followers to stay destruction and God agrees to his bold request. I don’t believe for one second that there was any pleasure taken in destroying these cities. I do believe that God longed for them to return to Him.
Same with Ninevah. He wanted their hearts and He rejoiced when they turned back. He also rebuked Jonah.
BUT, it doesn’t mean He loved them less.
I know this can be true because I am a parent. Not so long ago my husband confiscated one our sons’ beloved devices. Unfortunately, he couldn’t remember where he stowed it when the time of confiscation was over. Our son was not impressed with his dad and justifiably so.
In his effort to locate the device he went to look in his dad’s office where it was supposed to be. My husband’s office hasn’t really been in use as an office during harvest but more of a dumping off place for all kinds of paper related to farm, renovations, school and everything else.
My son, in his desperation, took everything off the large desk surface and tossed it on the floor in a pile. When I found it I was very disappointed in his choices about how he went about looking for his device. Did I love him less? No.
Disappointment was heavy though because I know that I am going to have to spend many hours sorting through the pile of paper. He did repent and put the pile back on the desk but the damage was done.
As Christians we often do the same thing, and I believe that we cause disappointment in God’s heart. Perhaps, like me, He shakes His head and sighs.
Once again, we must go to the place of grace and repent. His grace is so much greater than our sin. We must remember to forgive ourselves, too. Like I said yesterday, we are much harder on ourselves than anyone else is.
Good day to you, I am off to Allume!