this is the way

It’s Tuesday morning and the sun is sparkling behind the clouds and trees.

It’s Tuesday morning and three kids have been on the bus for half an hour, one kid is in the shower, one may still be in bed and one didn’t come home last night. (Update: she was in bed…late for school…grumpy)

It’s Tuesday morning and my husband is probably already in the field because early is the best time for spraying.

It’s Tuesday morning…

I have the day in front of me to do with as I will. There are some have-to’s and some want-to’s and some need-to-but-can-wait sort of things that I need to sort out.

Yesterday evening my friend down the street texted an impromptu, “Wanna take the kids for a bike ride?” So we did and it was a beautiful evening and we chatted about our need for the Word. We both have six kids and work and husbands with weird hours. Life is often overwhelming.

Yet Holy Spirit has been pressing in on me the need for the Word lately.

May I say something shocking? Sometimes I wonder, “Why bother?” How will my soul be better for having read Lamentations? I have been listening to the Bible on CD as I drive to work and back. The guy reading has a soothing, sexy voice but still…blood and gore is blood and gore.  I just finished 2 Samuel and am in 1 Kings. These books are bloody, disgusting, horrifying accounts of David’s reign, Solomon’s downfall and the subsequent ruthless, heartless kings. There are things in those books that are hard to stomach. And I ask, “Why?, What good does this do me?”

I believe that scripture is God-breathed and useful for teaching, correcting and training in righteousness but I am having a hard time with some of it. The Psalms have carried me through these past few months absolutely, but all the blood shed puts a pall on my day to be honest.

Okay, there was this thing yesterday where a prophet came to speak to the king and he did his stuff and started on the way home with very specific instructions from the Lord not to eat or drink anything in that area. However, ANOTHER prophet lures him to his house by telling him that he, too, is a prophet and an angel told him that it was okay to come on over, feeds him and THEN berates him for disobeying God’s specific instructions to not eat or drink. DUDE!!! What is up with that? Note to self: Don’t let other people lead you astray with their ‘word of the Lord’ you might get eaten by a lion – which is what happened to prophet #1.

My friend reminded me of the scripture that says the Shepherd is gentle with those who have young. My young are getting older, but it seems the older ones are just as taxing as the younger ones were; they let you sleep through the night but it starts a lot later. I know there is grace for this, too.

I do better with Bible Study when I am working through a series or book like Beth Moore stuff. I do really well when I’m preparing to speak or leading a studyand have a bone that I’m gnawing on to share with others.

But right now I’m not in any of those and not preparing for any speaking engagements or leading a study and quite frankly I am somewhat tired of ‘man’s’ wisdom. I want stuff straight from His lips to my heart…

And I’m not entirely sure how to get there at the moment. Do I find a study? Do I buy a book? Download an app? (I hate reading on my phone) I took a course in college called Methods of Bible Study. I know HOW…for goodness sake I have TAUGHT the how…so why is this all such an issue right now?

That’s Tuesday for you…reclaiming the Word one verse at a time.