I Am Not That Girl…I’m This One

for-the-display-of-his-splendour-1

I am a vase, fashioned by the creator. I am covered in blue, green and yellow swirls. I exist to hold life giving water and to display beauty. For the glory of His splendour. – my journal, spring, 1999

My last week was filled with wonderful women.

I went to volunteer at an emerging organization, counting it a privilege to hang out with some great girls.  I was working near by and was astounded by the depth and wisdom and width of knowledge as two amazing women worked through a proposal. I am not those girls. I don’t know those things. I don’t believe I could do what they’re doing…but that’s okay. I am not that girl…I’m this one, and that’s okay.

I sat around a table and prayed with another group of girls. These women come from all different backgrounds, they don’t know each other but we know the same Saviour. Listening to them pray gives a glimpse into their hearts. Each one beautiful and unique. One of those girls prays with passion and eloquence and depth that I have rarely been privy too. I love to listen to her pray and agree together with her in the spirit. I am not that girl…I’m this one, and that’s okay.

I sat in a large group of women as we were presented with our spanky new Bible study books and given a brief introduction.  The girl leading has been doing this for over 20 years. She is loved and respected. This is her deal but I am not that girl, even though I love leading a Bible study and women’s ministry, I’m not her..I’m this girl, and that’s okay.

I’m not the author with a new book coming out that had over 3000 applicants to be in the launch.

I’m not the speaker that can fill stadiums.

I’m not the mom who is able to provide daycare for other people’s kids.

I’m not that girl. I’m this one, and that’s okay.

Paul points out in 1 Corinthians that the Spirit gives many gifts and that we’re a body. We’re in this together and yet we each have our own job to do. You’re not me and I’m not you, and that’s okay.

The quote at the top is from my own journal. I was at a women’s retreat in Kelowna a lot of years ago and the speaker was a potter. She spoke about how God has fashioned each one of us. The clay doesn’t get to decide what it’s going to be, that’s the potter’s job.

In the midst of that retreat the speaker encouraged us to ask God what sort of vessel He made us to be. I immediately envisioned that vase…blue, green and yellow swirls…and then I thought, well that’s kind of useless. A vase isn’t a platter or a pitcher or anything that is really useful. It sits on a shelf, holds frivolous flowers until they wilt and then gets put back on the shelf.  I didn’t want to be that!

Until the Holy Spirit revealed what that vase meant….we need beauty in our lives and vases are the means by which beauty is displayed. I am a vase. I was created to display His beauty.

A vase holds water, water makes the beauty linger…life giving water, extending the beauty.

Maybe being a vase is a good thing.

I’m that girl.

About Lani

With six kids, a farm, a ministry and dreams poking out in every direction I need plenty of grace to keep all the balls in the air. The sweet thing is that when I drop them, that crazy grace of God is there telling me I'm still okay...and you are, too...welcome to this place of grace.

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