I just finished reading Atlas Girl by Emily Weirenga.
I met Emily briefly at Allume last year. I had no idea who she was at the time but my friend wanted a picture of her so I made sure I got one. Since then I have checked out her blog (Click HERE) and when Atlas Girl came up for review I jumped at the chance to read it.
It is a fierce story, a memoir, written as prose with a powerful underlying thread of grace and truth.
It is a story of going back so you can move forward, of learning to love and receive love.
A story of being emptied out and then, finally, filled with what really caused the hunger in the first place.
A long poem of relationship and family, the music of life humming through the pages.
Healing, forgiveness, redemption and restoration.
While Emily’s story isn’t mine there were so many places where I realized I had lived the piece of the puzzle she was talking about, or where I am still living it.
Why, I wonder, does God make us capable of fear and worry? Why does he let us go through such pain?
And then it comes to me. It takes going through hell to appreciate heaven. And on earth we have a choice. We can experience heaven on a daily basis; we can surrender our worries and let our minds and souls be flooded with peace, knowing someone divine is taking care of us.
Or we can hold on to control, for fear of letting go and letting God.
It’s not about dying and someday going to heaven, it’s about inviting heaven into our everyday existence.
Forgiving. Redeeming what is lost. Trusting. Letting go. Living now. (page 226)
This is the choice before me today (and you), will I live now or stay trapped in the worry and anxiety that threatens to pull me under?
Will I make money or memories?
Will I choose to live in such a way that my kids know they are loved and not standing on the edge of mommy’s world wondering if they are allowed in?
Will my husband know that I choose him each and every day and will keep on choosing him until death do us part?
Will I let God fight on my behalf or stand up on shaking legs and declare my independence and control?
Life is art.
Your story is important.